I took my girlfriend
To a pebble beach in Spain
But she brought her vuvuzela
Put it to my ear
And gave my head some pain.
Lying together in the sun,
We have so much to gain.
It wasn’t until she punched me
That our love began to wane.
Like Switzerland, I tried to maintain
Our peace; I tried to submit to her reign.
Surely relationships are trade-offs,
But if she hits me again, I‘ll go insane.
I admit I deserved to be hit
When the wine I spilled caused a stain
But I can’t control the weather
And she beats me whenever there’s rain.
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