Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Wow, there’s a lot of snow out there.
Now, I know shoveling doesn’t seem fair.
Let’s just take pictures of it and send them to the news
Let’s put the climate police on the case
To arrest the snow-throwing crews
Then board a jet for an amazing race.
Or, more likely, we’ll roll over, drool like we don’t know grammar,
And hit snooze.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I’m no superhero,
I’m bound to make a mistake.
Why is it when I fall,
It seems like an earthquake?

Let’s hold a press conference
And tell the world to change.
We can shoot for the stars
And pretend they’re not out of range.

Monday, January 10, 2010

Don’t look at the record, just be aware.
Runs like this don’t even seem fair.
Pete Carroll is here to scare,
It’s time to win, we’ll do it anywhere.
It’s time to shut down the Bears.
We got the Superbowl in our crosshairs.

This seven-and-nine team rocks,
SEA! HAWKS!

Limerick Friday #26

There once was a raven who came from the shore
He saw a flower bloom and wanted to see more
He was enraged
‘Cuz the flower was engaged
Now he’ll make a documentary about how he’ll settle the score.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Animals rush out of the gates
And are surprised at what awaits.
They get put on my plate.
But if there’s more
They’re sold in the specialty store.
Sometimes a butler will bring you some
On a golden tray, the meat still red and barely numb.
You could read the menu or just take a seat,
Three times-a-day we serve heaping stacks of meat.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I was fishing for a notion for a potion to make a poem.
I added some OJ and mayo then tossed in some sugar for sweetness,
I stirred with fervor and tried my luck with Starbucks.

I lost the specific recipe, but there might’ve been Chinese leftovers involved.
After I ate it I couldn’t see, but eventually my blindness dissolved.

I looked in the bowl for a poem to save me
But I found I had in fact made a baby!

Tuesday, January 4, 2010

Of all the millions of stars,
You were fated to fall for me,
And me: ditto.

Was it you that eclipsed the sun?
It couldn’t have been.
My life is brighter.

When you fell from the sky,
Were you hurt?
I hope not.
You brought my dead heart alive,
Like when the world winds to April.

You’re so sweet
That when I eat an orange
My taste buds only recognize sugar.

I’ve lost command of my senses.

Soon, I will get you Gucci
And buy you a butler,
To hell with the expense and the IRS
To you all I’m saying is Yes Yes Yes.