Monday, October 4, 2010

It’s a mystery to me
How to navigate
Commonwealth Avenue.

Even with a college education
An apple a day
And a fully-loaded Mastercard,
I still need a map
And a T schedule
And God’s good grace
To get from one place to another.

I’m just another MBTA rider,
Sitting in front of a boozer,
Across from a hunter,
I feel like a gatherer.

I will collect this experience,
Combine it with yours
And others’
Collectively we will find our way,
Charging down the street
Like marathon runners
Hooting our horns
With a total disregard
For lanes and lights.

Limerick Friday #15

A Rutgers student wanted to run the planet
But he skipped school ‘cause he couldn’t stand it
So then his nanny
Spanked his fanny
And he spent a month with a strumpet.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

If I dated the sun
I doubt it would always be sunny.
If I dated a millionaire
I bet she wouldn’t give me money.
If I dated a storm
It would be wild and messy
If I dated a druggy
Her habit would bug me.
But I discovered you
And wake at just the right time
To see you open your eyes
And understand that I am yours, and you are mine.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My housekeeper likes capers
But I’m tiring of piccata
So I introduced her to Martha Stuart
And she made an enchilada.

I instantly cancelled all my reservations,
The kitchen looked like it was hit by an earthquake,
So I tuned to disaster stations.

I’ll continue to protest
My dinner
Without rest
Until I’m a winner
At the Panda Express.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I was jumping in the kitchen
Booing the sink
The drain had been clogged
And it had begun to stink.

I searched through the mess
Of peppers, blackberries and shrimp,
Scooped it all in a cup
And then my arm went limp.

I saw something that made me ill
I thought it looked crispy
But then it roared like a bear,
And I fled quite briskly, which I think is only fair.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Life gave me a lemon
So I sucked it dry
It made me feel un-human
But I don’t know why.

Maybe I’ll take a UFO
And explore the southwest
Or maybe I’ll ride a Segway
Because they’re supposed to be the best.

All I need is a shirt on my back,
An egg to crack and some picked up slack.
Maybe next time I’ll see
The lemon falling from the tree directly on me.

Limerick Friday #14

There once was a man with the largest mustache
He would fly down the street and never crash
But one day he spoke
And began to choke
But some still say P.I. is better than M.A.S.H.