There once was a king who loved football
He made it a project to bring the sport to all
But he was left wishing
The people love fishing
And now he’s trapped throwing the ball at the wall.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
My Toyota is better for a pep rally
Than a race. You can push the gas,
Give it wings and it’ll jet over a valley.
But highways are not airports
So maybe I’d be better with a VW Golf,
If its ugliness doesn’t put me out of sorts.
Those are two options, but here’s a third,
One that can win at Bristol,
Even if it is absurd,
I’ll build a vehicle all mine
Built out of enthusiasm
And call it Hawktimus Prime.
Than a race. You can push the gas,
Give it wings and it’ll jet over a valley.
But highways are not airports
So maybe I’d be better with a VW Golf,
If its ugliness doesn’t put me out of sorts.
Those are two options, but here’s a third,
One that can win at Bristol,
Even if it is absurd,
I’ll build a vehicle all mine
Built out of enthusiasm
And call it Hawktimus Prime.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
There is a path though the woods
That ultimately results in a traffic jam
Because transportation is rickety
And the fastest rickshaw is pulled by a lamb.
If you venture through this timber land
Make sure you have some rice
Or you’ll be stuck for days without food
And I hope you can stay nice.
There might be some traveling performers
Who will light a fire to dance by
But if they’re too repulsive
You’ll be pressed to look to the sky.
So on you go, on your way to skip the toll,
Pack all but the kitchen sink,
And cart it all over the knoll.
When it gets too heavy, just think:
“At least it’s not heavier than my soul.”
That ultimately results in a traffic jam
Because transportation is rickety
And the fastest rickshaw is pulled by a lamb.
If you venture through this timber land
Make sure you have some rice
Or you’ll be stuck for days without food
And I hope you can stay nice.
There might be some traveling performers
Who will light a fire to dance by
But if they’re too repulsive
You’ll be pressed to look to the sky.
So on you go, on your way to skip the toll,
Pack all but the kitchen sink,
And cart it all over the knoll.
When it gets too heavy, just think:
“At least it’s not heavier than my soul.”
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
About Daily Rhymes of the Times
This blog started with an interest in SEO and accessible poetry. The idea is to use daily top trending search terms on Google, Twitter and popular news sites (with the occasional quirky or fun site thrown in) and craft a poem in which I usually rhyme. I use the keywords out of context then link to the relevant site or news article. Reading Daily Rhymes of the Times should be like skimming HuffPo or using Twitter or Facebook as a news aggregator, with the important difference of reading a limerick every Friday.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Who’s afraid of Tiger Woods?
Not his wife, who stood
Her ground and gained freedom
From her marital cell, although some
Will miss their less perfect union,
The golfer fits this definition
(linked here on the internet).
Maybe now his private life is set
And he will win again
Otherwise his career is fin,
And he might as well go to Venus
Where he can play alone with his X.
Not his wife, who stood
Her ground and gained freedom
From her marital cell, although some
Will miss their less perfect union,
The golfer fits this definition
(linked here on the internet).
Maybe now his private life is set
And he will win again
Otherwise his career is fin,
And he might as well go to Venus
Where he can play alone with his X.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Was the trampoline the cause of death
Or do you blame bad vision
For missing the swimming pool
And falling like a stone?
It certainly could be blamed on incorrect foresight.
Swamps make better landing places
For these types of stunts.
Although the creatures there
Could hold you hostage
Possibly even impregnate you
And then make you marry them
Like some sort of Scandinavian syndrome
Transported to the tropical wilds.
If this is the case, don’t expect to play tennis,
Just sit back and enjoy your black & milds
Because your pool party has just turned into a menace
And your next task will be to host your child’s.
Or do you blame bad vision
For missing the swimming pool
And falling like a stone?
It certainly could be blamed on incorrect foresight.
Swamps make better landing places
For these types of stunts.
Although the creatures there
Could hold you hostage
Possibly even impregnate you
And then make you marry them
Like some sort of Scandinavian syndrome
Transported to the tropical wilds.
If this is the case, don’t expect to play tennis,
Just sit back and enjoy your black & milds
Because your pool party has just turned into a menace
And your next task will be to host your child’s.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Limerick Friday #11
My life inundated with corporate talk
Was a fairy tale like Jack’s beanstalk
But it was erased
Now there’s no trace
And all signs point to a hiring gridlock.
Was a fairy tale like Jack’s beanstalk
But it was erased
Now there’s no trace
And all signs point to a hiring gridlock.
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