Thursday, August 19, 2010

This is no bull,
You are truly good for me.
As if you’re the opposite of salmonella
You’ll never make me sickly.

You’re as delicious to the eye
As a fresh club sandwich
After a rough round of golf,
Except you’re not snooty; never a bitch.

Sometimes I want to peel you like a banana
And see your soul laid bare.
But sometimes I crack you like an egg
And that’s hardly fair.

Now I promise to be gentle
You have my word.
We can hand-feed each other
Like two nurturing birds.

So fly south with me
Like a swan on the Pacific.
We’ll see all places from the air,
Together, we’ll be terrific.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

You may see me with incredible hair
I tend to it everyday
My locks are a symptom of utmost care.

I may roll by with a dope vest
I dress myself in the window
To show fashion what’s best.

I recall an amendment allowing me to strut
Walk this way like a good man
And when you step, wag your butt.

But remember, if you egg me on the sidewalk
It’ll cause no public injury
Because yokes don’t hurt as much as talk.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I was manning the ship
With the sheet at my hip
When youthful Lawrence quipped
“We’re gonna dip
The boat in bleach!”
I was shocked,
Turned toward the beach
At a full reach.
I told the lass,
“We need a priest and mass.”
But as I recall, he was shooting up the mast.
So at last
I grabbed my compass,
Put his throat to my cutlass,
And frankly declared,
“We will continue to sail the world
No matter if the milk is curdled
So get those sails unfurled,
But first to port to get tequila and girls!”

Monday, August 16, 2010

Too much tequila could be a killer
But how much is too?
One, two, three, floor, five
Will make you retire.
If you’re at the club
Or dancing in the district
You’ll probably go loco
And slam too many back
Because the music is blaring
And you’ll feel under attack.
I’d suggest a different approach
Maybe host a pig roast
And let someone else shoot the most.

Limerick Friday #10

A lonely, uncoordinated man needed the word
But with a pea in his ear it couldn’t be heard
There’s no excuse
To be a recluse
So on Fridays he gathers friends to dance like a bird.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

I might be hairy
But I’ll give you a berry
And shower you with gifts.
If your heart I lift
I expect you to shift
In favor of me, instead
Of staying straight on course.
We will head
Like a wild horse,
Or caribou, to where air
Meets water,
And I’ll yell loud or whisper softer.
If we could, we’ll float like wood.
The birds will chipper, we’ll be always hipper,
Though never hipster,
And we’ll have the longest standing love that ever stood.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

We are dots in the universe
But there’s a line connecting me and you.
Like meteors in the sky,
We are everlastingly connected to this venue.
We can rush to each other
And create streaks in the night.
We are moons, creating floods of tides on earth.
We shift water in wells
And when full, we generate mirth.

Sometimes it’s me vs. you
When disagreements come out of the blue.
In the event we crash into each other
We’ll be tigers: roaring, lovers.

We have a city of our own;
We’ll never be alone.
If you let me, I’ll hold you forever on the jetty
Until we become memorials made of stone.