Monday, July 26, 2010

Hey, man, don’t worry about stress,
Let’s go to the Hawaiian islands
And care about less.

We have the power to surf,
Forget school,
And make a mess.

Still here you are,
Prosecuting criminals like Elliot Ness.

Don’t you know they’ll jailbreak
And fly the nest?
You can’t institutionalize those without a crest.

Just give them the test
And they’ll find the crest of the wave
On their craft like a slave to recreation.

You can’t settle down,
We’re an explorer nation.

Limerick Friday #7

There once was a man in a kitchen
He cut onions like a Frenchman
His tears caused a flood
Now he’s covered in mud
But his dorm food is really bitchin’.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

What else does unemployment benefit
Except letting artists have some time
And giving fuel to conservative fits.

But what’s with all this political turbulence?
Just let families afford some beer
Unless that’s against your ethics.

I was a comic once; a prince, too.
But I ran into a couple kinds of change
And now I’m nothing but a yahoo.

Nevertheless, I still have two first names,
And I might track down a marmot
Who’ll be my friend to play games.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Why don’t you wail about your whale of a day?
I’m trying to be like Job, find a job
and be a survivor.
I’ve seen just a couple job posts, I’d say.
Maybe I’ll craft employment out of scraps like McGyver.

All I’m saying is show me your love,
Not in a wedding sense,
I just need a place to fit me like a glove.

I’ll make your business big like Jurassic creatures.
I’ll join in with the doers not the preachers.

I can be Mad Men, without making you mad, man.

All this time on my hands I’m getting sunburned and peeling,
But bring me to your board meeting, I’ll have y’all reeling.
I can make football metaphors that remotely apply to work.
If you spill your coffee, I won’t call you a jerk.

If you want, I’ll show you my PR trophy,
But take a look at my resume and you’ll see
It’s much less hokey.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Some think I’m a communist
But I’m just unemployed.
In my defense, I do cover up
With a smoking jacket as if cloyed
By titi monkeys.

Nothing is universally more satisfying
Than seeing a parasailing donkey
Cover up the moon, unless it calls for help
Right before it launches from a Florida Key
Correctional facility.

You can search for many years
Without finding engines that run on blossoms.
But if you do, call me and tell me
They’re totally awesome.

Monday, July 19, 2010

I went up Walnut Creek without a paddle
All I had was some tea and a rattle.
But oh Lord, I’ll be rich one day
It doesn’t matter what others say.
All I need is a couple spectators
And more lovers than haters
So come join me and the trailblazers
Up the creek with all the wrong tools
Just a couple musicians and a few more fools.

Gone Fishin'

I’ll be away from the office for a couple days, but I’ve left some links below just in case you need your fix:

If you need rhymes go here.
If you’re just here to waste some time at work before filling out more TPS reports, try this.
For immediate updates on Bieber and other hot news, go here.
For everything else, check here.

Have fun. See you Monday!