Thursday, July 22, 2010

What else does unemployment benefit
Except letting artists have some time
And giving fuel to conservative fits.

But what’s with all this political turbulence?
Just let families afford some beer
Unless that’s against your ethics.

I was a comic once; a prince, too.
But I ran into a couple kinds of change
And now I’m nothing but a yahoo.

Nevertheless, I still have two first names,
And I might track down a marmot
Who’ll be my friend to play games.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Why don’t you wail about your whale of a day?
I’m trying to be like Job, find a job
and be a survivor.
I’ve seen just a couple job posts, I’d say.
Maybe I’ll craft employment out of scraps like McGyver.

All I’m saying is show me your love,
Not in a wedding sense,
I just need a place to fit me like a glove.

I’ll make your business big like Jurassic creatures.
I’ll join in with the doers not the preachers.

I can be Mad Men, without making you mad, man.

All this time on my hands I’m getting sunburned and peeling,
But bring me to your board meeting, I’ll have y’all reeling.
I can make football metaphors that remotely apply to work.
If you spill your coffee, I won’t call you a jerk.

If you want, I’ll show you my PR trophy,
But take a look at my resume and you’ll see
It’s much less hokey.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Some think I’m a communist
But I’m just unemployed.
In my defense, I do cover up
With a smoking jacket as if cloyed
By titi monkeys.

Nothing is universally more satisfying
Than seeing a parasailing donkey
Cover up the moon, unless it calls for help
Right before it launches from a Florida Key
Correctional facility.

You can search for many years
Without finding engines that run on blossoms.
But if you do, call me and tell me
They’re totally awesome.

Monday, July 19, 2010

I went up Walnut Creek without a paddle
All I had was some tea and a rattle.
But oh Lord, I’ll be rich one day
It doesn’t matter what others say.
All I need is a couple spectators
And more lovers than haters
So come join me and the trailblazers
Up the creek with all the wrong tools
Just a couple musicians and a few more fools.

Gone Fishin'

I’ll be away from the office for a couple days, but I’ve left some links below just in case you need your fix:

If you need rhymes go here.
If you’re just here to waste some time at work before filling out more TPS reports, try this.
For immediate updates on Bieber and other hot news, go here.
For everything else, check here.

Have fun. See you Monday!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Happy birthday to my brother
Who has a real housewife this year.
He deserves none other
Though he might want in the near
Future some bacon or a beer can
To spice up the party like a man.
So throw it on ice
And fire up the grill
This day is too nice
To be sitting still.
Go play, go party, go celebrate some more
This time for your birthday I won’t get you a [friend].

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The bird chatters through the window
Saying the billy goat is by the bridge
Waiting to talk to a wild sow.
A game of telephone will captivate
The imaginations of wild things
Especially when it’s the season to mate.
And Yogi Bear opens his basket
And produces a method to create a racket.
The dream will seem like everything
Until in life we cross it.